I DO.

I LOVE the book of Romans. Seriously, behind Galatians it's my favorite book in the Bible. Am I allowed to have a favorite? Oh well. The reason that I love Romans so much is that Paul does such a great job of presenting the Gospel in a way that makes me first turn inward and recognize my own sin, and then turn upward and see the incredible GRACE and GLORY of Jesus Christ. Never before have I read through Romans and not felt convicted of something. And never before have I been able to read through Romans and not be blown away by how much Jesus loves me in the middle of my mess.

If you're like me at all, you feel responsible to "do" things. The phrase "I have to..." has become so common in my life that I should just have it tattoed across my forehead. Just kidding, that would be another thing to put on my to-do list.

Maybe those things are related to school. You have to do enough to get good grades, you have to do enough to be the best at your sport, you have to do...etc.

Maybe it's in a friendship. You are always "doing" to try and placate the other person. Obviously every functional friendship requires sacrifice and effort, but you have to find the balance. Eventually it becomes less like a two-sided relationship and more like someone else that you are responsible for.

I am a chronic people-pleaser. Like if I think I'm going to be late to anything remotely important, I start having an anxiety attack. It's not always noticeable on the outside, but inside I've already fired myself, given away everything I own, and am living in a cardboard box because I did not DO enough.

"So then it depends not on human will or exertion, but on God, who has mercy." Romans 9:16

WHAT. WHAT WHAT WHAT. WHERE HAS THIS VERSE BEEN MY WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE?!?!

Maybe that's a little overdramatic, but seriously, this is a LIFE CHANGING, COURSE ALTERING verse. You mean, it's not up to me? I don't have the fate of the whole entire world on my shoulders? Why did no one tell me this?

Let's break this down.

"So it depends not on human will or exertion..."

-This does NOT mean we shouldn't strive to be more like Christ.

-This DOES mean that when (not if) we screw up, we didn't just ruin all of God's plans.

"...but on God..."

-This is exciting. Really, really exciting. Because who could possibly ever be more equipped to handle our jacked up, sinful selves than the One who loves us more than anything? No one.

"...who has mercy."

-HALLELUJAH. Honestly, first we find out that it's not all on us, and then we find out that God's got it, and NOW we hear that He has mercy. When we mess up, screw up, and get a big enough head to think that we are God, He has mercy. He does not sit up there thinking "oh no, Emilee turned into a control freak again and she thinks it's all up to her, better zap her with my lightning bolt of justice." No. Not how it works, thankfully.

Ladies, this week when you get stressed out (yes it will happen) come back to this verse. Rest in the fact that God has you in His hand, and He knows what He's doing.